What Has Happened to Hockey?

At least thats what I was thinking all last season. What happened to getting the goal no matter how pretty or ugly it looked? What happened to hitting? What happened to passion?

We are heading into hockey season 2011-2012. I have been a hockey fan since...well forever and I was born and raised on the ice, and guess what?! I miss hockey...real hockey. Over the past 5 years, hockey went from being a rough and tough mans game, to a game of finesse? I don't want to see how pretty you make the goal look, I don't care what the stupid effin goal looks like as long as its a goal. I don't want to see hockey players back away from hits. If these men who are getting paid millions of dollars to play a sport that is physical and they are scared to be physical then why are we paying them. These managers could save themselves a lot of money and pay the peewees I coach in candy and playboy and I promise you they will hit as much as you want. Lets look at Jordan Staal, Alex Semin, Syndey Crosby, Steve Stamkos, Mike Green and Brooks Laich. ALL USELESS...I want to see some Scott Steve, Dino Ciccarelli, Tie Domi, Paul Kariya and those type guys. Ya know real hockey players, real men. Not these new wittle pwetty boys whose balls haven't dropped yet. What happened to good old fashioned hockey?

We have two weeks till hockey season begins and hopefully in those two weeks, these coaches can make these wussys that we call hockey players into real men, and real hockey players. Maybe just maybe, these players will get some passion back for the game and maybe just maybe, they will realize why they are being paid millions of dollars.

AND THEY'RE OFF

Ladies and Gentleman, your pain and suffering is now over...of course until your team starts losing...but in the mean time just enjoy the fact that hockey is back in action! We are only 4 games in and it looks like it is going to be an interesting season to say the least. Lets start with the Eastern Conference shall we?? The Washington Capitals, who led the league last year and finished out number one are falling second behind...guess who?! WRONG!! It's the Toronto Maple Leafs. Looks like some boys decided to wake up and join the game. But how long will Toronto hold on? My guess not to long, but if they stay healthy and play two way hockey, we may see them in the playoffs this year. Now whats the biggest shocker in the Eastern Conference?? Well this will make a lot of people happy...are you ready?! THE PENGUINS are 3rd to LAST in the conference. Now I know we are only 4 games in but god does that feel good to say. Sidney Crosby...who for some reason everyone seems to think is amazing has had two points in the last 4 games...one goal and one assist. Ok are you ready for my thoughts on this? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! There are rookies in the league with more points than you...again its early, but when you look at Alex Ovechkins 7 points in 4 games...it makes you wonder what all the hype is about the cry baby from Pitt.

Now time to jump all over the Western Conference. Oh Chicago, dear dear chicago. You hoisted the Stanley Cup over your heads less than 4 months ago. WHAT HAPPENED?! You are towards the bottom of the pack and have played 2 more games than most of the other teams in your conference. Tisk Tisk...get off your power trip...stop being pretty boys...put the biscuit in the basket and knock some teeth out. That is what you are paid to do. Remember?? Maybe you had one too many celebration brewskies...or maybe you just think you're holy now...Well guess what...FAIL!! Step it up boys or it will be a longggg season. As for Edmonton and Dallas...welcome to the NHL, so glad you decided to actually play this year! Considering you have played two games less than the Stanley cup champions and still manage to lead them, I'd have to say job well done...now...KEEP IT UP!!

Ya know, I know hockey is not an easy sport...heck I played it and I coach it...but the only way you are going to make it is to give it everything you got...otherwise kiss your careers and your season good bye. No, Mr. Crosby, arguing with the refs for 2 hrs about a penalty does not qualify as giving it everything you've got. Mr. Mike Green, lets try to not pinch alllll the time...the puck trickling past you as you watch it go by is not very entertaining. Mr. Toews you are a Stanly Cup Champion, but keep playing like you are...you can say buh-bye to that title.

Needless to say my life is back for no reason other than hockey season has begun. Lets see who will reign supreme this season....

Get it together!

Ok....Caps...babies...listen to me.. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. You lost to Montreal, ok I understand that. You lost to Columbus, not good. You lost to edmonton, should we rename you the New York Islanders? Defense, way to not show up to that game. Shultz let a guy half his size bowl him over, and everybody backed down from hits. Damn it! You are hockey players! Lower your shoulders and nail his butt into those boards. Offense, god help you. Have you ever heard of putting the puck in top shelf, instead of constantly shooting into the chest of goalie!! Hello?!?!? Everyone could see he was dropping to his knees before the puck was anywhere near the net, so common sense says LIFT THE PUCK! You boys are about to play the Pens, the Bruins and the Wings, so you better wake the hell up, eat your wheaties and play some freakin' hockey!!!!! This is not baseball gentleman, you gotta skate, you gotta look, you gotta hit and you have to score. Wake up!!!!!!!! This is not mites hockey!!!!

We did it!

WE BEAT THE FLYERS!!!!!!! For you flyer fans, do not give the bull shit excuse of injury. We had injuries too, infact we have had injuries all season long, so that little excuse is not going to fly. Do not sit there and talk about how you have the hardest division in the league, which is why you have won less. Every team plays each other this season. You may have a harder division, but we beat the rangers, we beat the penguins and we beat the islanders, so whats your point?! Thats what I thought, you dont have one! We are going to the ship this year. WE GOIN TO THE SHIP!!

Rangers Who?

Caps played the rangers tonight, and I must say I was horrified at the end of the first period. As I sat in the bar and frowned at the screen, something told me, even though the game was over based on the score, the caps were not done yet. The start of the second rolled around and a new caps team graced the ice. By the end of the 3rd period the game was tied at 4-4 and it was send into over time. God bless Morrisonn and his OT goal. We needed that win, especially after having out butts handed to us by the Flyers, which i must say was the most painful thing I have had to endure since they beat us in game 7 OT of the playoffs last year. So Congrats to the boys in red (or in tonights case white), you pulled it out yet again. Amazing how a team who has majority of their starters missing can still kick some butt and rock the red!

ESPN Top 10

I think every week during hockey season, ESPN needs to run the Top 10 hockey hits, fights and goals. I am tired of seeing a man run up and down a court, just to put a ball in a basket. And to think that he is getting paid millions of dollars to do that. Puh-Lease! I want to see someone driving someone else into the boards. I want to see someone rip off another players jersey. I want to see a hockey player skate through two hits and get a fluke goal. Now that is quality entertainment!

What do you think this is? Stanley Cup Playoffs?

Men, what are we going to do with you? I was watching an adult league game last evening and it was the playoffs, and holy hockey sticks, you would have thought it was the freakin Stanley Cup Playoffs. First, let me talk about the teams. The men, grown men, on both teams were flipping out over lack of penalty calls. Boys, just because you can't stop, or skate, and you skate right into another person stick, does not mean you were tripped. It means you are a moron who can't skate, and ran into someones stick. If you are skating up the boards and an opposing player is right up next to you, and you fall into the boards because you got a wittle scurred, does not mean you were checked. It means you are a WUSS! Anyone watching this game would have been dying of laughter the whole time. Not because of the constant unnecessary bickering, but because of the men who were completely wasted, because they had decided to drown the ravens loss against the steelers in alcohol. Yes, it was a tough loss, but if you know you are going to play a hockey game, wait till after the game to duke it out with captain morgan. Now, for you officials, get over yourself. You are officiating an mens game, not an NHL game. No need to get nasty with the players or the score keeper. So what, a player told you to F off. You probably told him to suck it just a second earlier. Yes, thats right, people sitting on the benches can hear what you say. Do not shake your head at the score keeper because they are on their cell phone. They aren't stupid like you, they can talk and push a tiny button to start the clock all at the same time! I know, almost impossible to do but it can be done. Do not tell me your played minor league ice hockey, because by the looks of your skating, i'd be surprised if you played college club hockey. What is it with washed up men thinking they are better than they are. This is supposed to be fun, not stressful. I know men are competitive, but my god. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!